As a young girl, I remember my Mother scolding my arrogance by asking me, “Who do you think you are ” Miss As Astor? Although I was too young to know, what I did know was by the falsetto tone of my Mother’s voice, I understood Ms. Astor was associated with the finer things in life. Nancy Astor’s infamous tete’ a tete’ with the alleged inebriated Sir Winston Churchill illustrates alcohol’s effect on “an individual’s” etiquette and decorum. In 1912, “the” venue of a holiday party was held at The Blenheim Palace, the family estate of Sir Winston Churchill.

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While the music swirled off the stately walls, and the conversations in a muted hush echoed throughout the vast hall, there was one particular conversation that has been etched in history. Lady Astor, the first women elected to parliament, grew increasingly annoyed at Sir Churchill’s pontification of the same topic for a seemingly enduring time was unable to contain her irritation, finally blurted, “Winston, if you were my husband, I would put poison in your coffee.” Unnerved and without hesitation Sir Winston retorted, “Nancy, if you were my wife, I would drink it.”

The Christmas season is a test on an individual’s social behavior. How many times decorum is replaced with several “Appletinis?” The little vignette shows no one is immune from alcohol fueled- faux pas. Unfortunately, the result of imbibing one too many can result not only in debarment, but occasionally a dismissal from your company only to wish you had employed the correct etiquette and protocol at Christmas Parties. The key to success is to know how to be “social” within the realm of Christmas parties. This can be your opportunity to illuminate your social intelligence quotient or a show of drink-swirling comments and behavior. By honing your manners, your timing and being able to distinguish the appropriate behavior at any given moment will increase other’s individual awareness of your effective communication skills.

Please peruse the following tips:

· Always be prompt when responding to R.S.V.P. True social code dictates the response of the invitation is determined by the mode of your invite. If you are invited via mail, a written note of acceptance or denial is appropriate versus if the invite is via phone; a telephone acknowledgement is in accordance.

· Arrival time should be within 15 minutes early. This will give you time to evaluate the party environment. If you do your research, prior knowledge of the guest list can assist you in conversations. Note: One should not be the last to leave unless you are assisting in clean-up.

· Regifting: Jackie Onassis felt no stigma in regifting. Only if the gifts are of quality and not the endless handing off of the truly ugly stuff that are from taste-challenged elves.

· The best way to avoid your family/friend from feeling compelled to state the gift is inappropriate is to include the receipt. Especially when it is clothes or items that one might not respond with glee. This takes the burden of the recipient in having to confront the giver with notes of distaste.

· Corporate gifts: Best to read company’s policy. CASH under NO circumstances – can be interpreted as a bribe. If you receive a gift in person, a verbal thank you is sufficient. However, a written note is a nice touch.

· Be cognizant of cultural concern in exchanging gifts. Chinese consider the gift of a clock wishes death. Also, the color or gift wrappings has cultural concerns.

· Drinking – use a buddy system and/or have local taxi in your phone contacts. For every 1 drink takes 1 hour for every body to assimilate. Be careful of the Karaoke and dancing while under the influence. Stories of your feats can be broadcasted on “MySpace’ and web. Food-refrain from finger foods. Take-outs on permission. Make sure your right hand is unencumbered from food and drink so the handshake is always in play.

· Develop 10 questions that would initiate conversation. Keep feet separated & open as to show your receptiveness to others. Standards of excellence and accomplishments are tested in the family domain when you can comfortably turn off your cell phone, blackberries and text-messaging and genuinely participate in the party of your life. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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