Christian Marriage Counseling – Can Going to Your Church Help You Stop a Divorce?
Almost all religion considers marriage as a sacred institution. They believe that marriage is the foundation of a family. This helps to build a foundation for the society. Hence emphasis is always given to saving a marriage.
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However, there is no guarantee that today’s marriages do not have problems. Due to the current lifestyles and the change in men and women’s roles, children, financial and economic pressures, it is becoming more difficult to make a marriage work. More and more couples are having problems in their marriage.
You ask yourself, who can you ask for help or go to when you are looking for help to stop a divorce?
Ask anyone around and most of them will advise that you visit a marriage counselor or therapist. Personally, I prefer to go to the institution that emphasis on marriage values more than anything or anyone out there – the church and the pastor.
What is the number 1 difference between a licensed counselor and Christian marriage counseling that make me make such statement?
Please do not get me wrong. I have nothing against a licensed marriage therapist or counselor. However, the church and a pastor approach towards helping you save your marriage in a holistic angle. They believe that marriage vows taken are forever. Hence the church will take the approach of bringing couples closer together. Unlike a licensed counselor whose focus will be more an individualistic approach and treatment on an individual psychopathology and couple’s therapy.
What if you do not have a pastor or a church home?
Expect some difficulty if you currently do not have your own pastor or a church home and it usually takes around six months to create rapport in a church. If you are on a mission now to help stop a divorce, it is the luxury of time you do not have.
The best you can do is to contact various churches near you and enquiry if they have programs, events or retreats for couples. Use this event to work on saving your marriage and get connected with a skilled pastor. After that do a follow up counseling with the same pastor.
Like all marriages, communication problem is the biggest issue faced by married couples. If during this event you and your spouse take the opportunity to work and iron out your communication issues, you will be surprise that other pieces of your marriage or relationship will automatically fall into place.
Marriage issues such as children, finances and sex in your marriage will also addressed. Be honest and open to achieve optimal result. You and your spouse might have individual agenda and hope when you first attend. However, the ultimate goal is to get your marriage back on track and hope by the end of the counseling, both you and your spouse will have the same goal towards saving your marriage.
A marriage is not easy and at times can be very tough. It requires you and your spouse to put in the time, effort and commitment to make it work. Sometimes, you may feel that the situation is so bad that you just cannot endure anymore. There are many excuses and reasons to not make the marriage work.
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April 22nd, 2010 at 7:24 am
Dear sir/mdm,
I have read through your website and I salute your advices to others who are facing problems. I hope you could help me out too.
I am believer in Christ, in my 20s and for the first time in my life I am in great fear to marry this guy that I’ve been dating as he’s NOT a Christian. His parents are Catholics but he does not go routinely to church. We both love each other at this moment but I am afraid that when we both marry and problems arise especially due to different spiritual viewpoints, love can fade. On the other hand, there is another Christian guy who’s also interested in me but he’s more quiet. He doesnt talk much but he cares about me. We dont communicate a lot but I know because he’s a Christian our thoughts, principles and beliefs are in line and that if I marry him life would be better than if I decide to marry the Catholic guy whom I am head over heels in love with. I fear that God will be disappointed if I dont prioritize Him, and marry a non Christian to satisfy my own selfish desires. I have read that marriage with people with different beliefs are often not happy and in risk of backsliding in Christ, which is the last thing I would want to happen to myself. Am I wrong? What should I do?
I have prayed for God to give me signs of what to do and prayed for wisdom to be able to discern God’s direction in my life, but am not sensitive enough to understand His ways. Kindly pray for me and advise me on what I should do. I would really appreciate another viewpoint on this issue to help me to decide my one and most important decision in this life.
Thanks a lot. Hope to hear from you soon. God Bless!